Sreesanth vs. Harbhajan, ladies wrestling!

Just look at our 2 ladies… One, a typical dipped-in-oil Mallu boy and the other a turbaned sardi-boy! Both working hard on building their image as the bad boys of that most pansiest of games, cricket. I mean name another game (except croquet) where you play with sweaters on?

But in a globalised uni-metro-sexual world, India goes ahead and tries to ape American Football. Ah! Those steriod-saturated, mass media-manufactured, uber-hunks… (Mind you they are covered from pinkie to little toe in an assortment of paddings. The only thing missing is the tampon in the… oh well, maybe some other day.) Let’s get back to Sree-kuttan and Bhajji-paaji.

What I find amazing is the sight of these ladyboys actually taking ‘panga’ with the Aussies. More so, because on a good day, Bhajji grappling with Sree in a full-nelson would about measure up – in girth – to Brett Lee’s half-hard beef-stalk. (I said on a good day… probably some young lady’s lucky day too!) But ever wonder how they muster the guts to do it? Well, you see they are prrruttty sure the Aussies wouldn’t whack them. Imagine Sree going in for ovary-implant after one of those 6′5″ blokes rips off his wee-wee! Or Bhajji-boy getting a hemorrhoid – what with his turban lump travelling all the way down to his underwear. Yikes!

Yes, our ladies are pretty confident that the Aussies (or the Proteas for that matter) wouldn’t retaliate. Unfortunately, what Ms Sree forgot is that Ms Bhajji WILL hit back! (But he should actually be thanking his stars Bhajji didn’t use his handbag. Or a tampon.) Now how embassasing would that have been for Indian cricket, eh?

But now that the fracas has abated with the pundits having disected every possibility – down to lovers’ tiff for the camera (a la Posh and Beckham) – it is indeed time to reflect… The boys (ha, what a laugh!) or girls – whatever they want to call themselves should go back to the Indian locker room and have a bonding session. I strongly recommend mutual masturbation. It works.

Then Sreesanth can go on to acting in a Telugu movie with 4 heroines! (Wonder what the producer was thinking casting five girls in a movie! Tsk Tsk, these Tollywood moneybags!) And Bhajji can rue his lost 3-crore bonanza over a several patiala pegs and lotsa sympathetic ‘kudis’. I’m sure his mom would understand that too.

Tags: Harbhajan, kambi katha, Sreesanth